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Work with Me

 

If you're reading these words, I'm willing to bet I know at least four things about you:
 

  1. You want to put stuff that is important to you into the world.
     

  2. You've been stuck either hiding (the work is not happening), or chasing (it's happening but feels terrible 95% of the time) or both, and you're just not willing to keep doing it any more.
     

  3. You don't give up easy.
     

  4. You can leave the suffering of hiding and chasing behind, permanently, and live a big, electrifying, storm-the-castles life with your talents.

My life feels completely different now.

-Tom

Software Developer

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I'd also be willing to bet that you haven't spent much time contemplating #3, because most people stuck in hiding and chasing find it difficult to give themselves much credit for anything. But the truth of #3 is actually crystal clear if you think about it. People who give up easy don't keep running at a wall that seems unscalable.

But if #3 is mostly invisible for people in this boat, then #4 can feel like a pipe dream. The more days we spend trying and trying and trying—and failing—to work, the more it can seem like we might as well just give up. The more big milestones we hit without anything changing in how we feel, the more it feels like we're just pouring energy and skill into a sinkhole. And when you've been in this boat for long enough, you can start to feel like it's just your fucking world now.

It is my mission in life to blow up this shitty boat and get you onto the solid, dry land of using your talents in a way that feels exactly right, gloriously switched-on, and fucking indomitable.

One reason I can do this is because it's clear to me how close to the shore you actually are. Your boat is already bumping against dry land every day, but you don't yet have the thought habits, tools and perspective to be able to climb out. And that's what we build together. 

What's on the other side?


The big changes you see will happen first on the ground where things are currently most fucked up for you, whether that's not being able to work, not being able to find it satisfying, or not being sure what your true talents even are. Once we get these blocks cleared away, then we'll start working on the bigger stuff that becomes possible when your brain, talent and vision are all pulling in the same direction.

So you might find that for you it looks like:
 

  • No more days spent wandering everywhere but your desk or surveying your progress with a sinking stomach at bedtime. You'll know you can work on what you care about consistently, no fucking around.
     

  • No more being too afraid to put your One Big Idea into the world—because you'll know there's more where that one came from. And you'll be able to trust yourself to follow through on the next one too. 
     

  • You won't still be wondering what you're good at or if you even ARE good at any particular thing, because you'll know what your superpowers are and be able to decide exactly how you want to use them.
     

  • No more feeling like your relationship to your talents is always on hold in some way, like the real thing is always around the corner or up at the next milestone. Instead, you'll feel certain that you're exactly where you need to be, going exactly where you want to go.
     

  • No more sinking stomach when you are invited to go up for promotion or lead the team or submit to a festival or give an audition or run the lab. You won't worry that you'll be too afraid even to try or that you won't have the resilience to bounce back if you don't get the result you want. 
     
  • When you get negative feedback, you'll be able to trust yourself to figure out what's useful to learn and to set aside the rest, because you'll know that no one else's evaluation of your work can ever substitute for your own.
     
  • You'll be able to trust yourself, period.
     
  • No more scrolling other people's social media at midnight, wondering how they seem to have gotten to this miraculous land of achievement and satisfaction, because you'll be too immersed in and compelled by the work you're doing to worry about anyone else's stuff.
     
  • You won't wrap up a big project feeling totally bereft after 24 hours, when the high has worn off and you're right back to thinking you're not good enough. Instead, you'll know how to relish the process itself, because it'll be a rich, engaging, exciting part of the daily fabric of your life.
     
  • If you have a day job, you'll see big leaps ahead there too, because you'll no longer be so distracted and exhausted by the draining drama of hiding and chasing going on with your other work. Instead, you'll show up knowing you can get day-job shit done easily and power on to the other exciting stuff waiting for you elsewhere.
     

  • You will have the unshakeable authority that comes from knowing you do the things that matter to you, no matter what.
     

Right now, it might seem preposterous to think that this can happen. But, actually, I think there's already a part of you that believes you can get there. It's the part of you that hasn't given up. No matter how hopeless you may feel at times, you always take one more step forward. The proof is that you're here right now, reading these words.

Another way to say this is: part of you already KNOWS that you can do this. 

We're going to put that part of you in charge.

Blazing Talents Programme

Here's how we do it
 

Starting in September 2022, I'll be taking a handful of women through my 12-week group programme, in which you'll learn to create relationship to your talents that is exhilarating, audacious and sustainable. The programme is intensive on purpose. You will be obsessed and you will change fast. I estimate we'll cover as much ground as I would in 18-24 months of individual coaching. (This intake is for women only; if you're a man interested in working with me, please email me directly.)

Some of the stuff I will teach you is so simple and effective you'll be outraged no one told you about it before. Some of it is so advanced it will keep changing and stretching you far after the programme ends. And you'll need that advanced work, because you'll be working at the edge of your capabilities, where exciting and terrifying and important stuff happens.

Each week we'll have coaching calls with the group, live teaching from me on that week's learning and tools (recorded for those who can't attend live) and guided working sessions, where programme members bring their work to a zoom call to make progress in a supported environment. Along the way, you'll have eight guaranteed coaching sessions with me.

 

And then there's the Slack group. This is an online messaging platform where I'll be available to answer questions and coach you, Monday through Friday, for the full 12 weeks.

 

You'll also have quarterly alumni coaching calls with me for the first year after the programme ends.

 

Because you'll have lots of chances to participate by quietly listening and learning (i.e., without having to be on the hot seat or interact,) this programme is introvert-safe. Introverts: I am one of you, I share your fears of anything with the 'group' label, and I have designed this programme to give lots of space for those of us who need less interaction. See FAQ below for more on this. 

Weekly live teaching on techniques and tools

Weekly live coaching on Zoom

On demand text-based coaching M-F

Weekly practice sheets and guides

Why group coaching

 

First thing's first: group coaching is not a therapy or support group. You will watch other people get coached and vice versa, but clients don't participate in or comment on other people's coaching. No one coaches you but me.

 

So why even bother to have a group programme in that case? Because group coaching works twice as fast as individual coaching.

 

Here's why: you learn one way when I coach you, but you learn another way entirely when you watch me coach someone else.

When I coach you, we change your brain. When you watch me coach someone else, you have the distance to see how the change gets created. And that means you learn how to create these same kinds of results on your own. 

 

When you combine these two kinds of learning with teaching from me about tools and concept, the synergy is like rocket fuel. You'll transform faster than you thought possible. And you'll know how to keep the process going on your own. 

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Got questions?

Some of the most frequently asked questions about Blazing Talents are below. For questions about my coaching practice in general (including pricing) see the main FAQ. Any other queries, contact me directly or book a consult.

How much direct contact will I get with you?

You'll have at least 8 opportunities to be coached by me over the course of the programme, and you'll have access to coaching from me Monday-Friday coaching via Slack, an online messaging system. You'll also receive weekly live teaching sessions, when you'll be able to ask me questions.

What if I don't like groups/the group dynamic is weird?

This programme is designed to foster learning in parallel, rather than group interaction. In practice, this means you see each other get coached, but no one contributes to that exchange except me and the person getting coached. It's never a group discussion.

This framework creates a dynamic that is inherently respectful and supportive, because people are always in listening-mode rather than talking-mode when it comes to other people's experiences. You never have to fear what you might hear from other group members, because the only responses will come from me.

Maybe equally important, something really powerful happens in our brains when we know we can only witness rather than weigh in. Once the chance to comment is taken off the table, we start to slow down and really absorb what we're seeing instead. (It's basically the polar opposite to what happens in our usual lives online.) And the learning that happens in this witnessing-only mode is on a different level.

Of course, this doesn't mean you can't ask questions about an aspect of coaching I offered someone else, whether for clarification or to understand how it might apply to you. Being able to follow up after you take something in and think about it is crucial too. But this would be distinct from any comment on someone else's experience.

The one place where direct interaction is absolutely invited is in the area of our message board devoted to victories, where you share your wins and everyone helps you celebrate.

What if the other women in the cohort aren't like me?

They will for sure be like you in some key ways (very smart, ambitious and unsatisfied with the status quo of their lives) because that's who the programme is designed for. Other than that, I hope you do find some important differences, because they'll stretch your brain and challenge your default thinking about who is a good fit when it comes to friends, contacts and coworkers.

I think you'll be surprised by how much you wind up identifying with women who you thought were nothing like you. In my experience and that of many others I know who have done group coaching, the similarities we find under the hood as the programme unfolds are much more powerful, unexpected and lasting than those we see at the outset. 

 

This is possible for you

Whatever you do, don't give up on your talents because you think that nothing can change, that you'll never figure out how to put your work into the world or how to love doing it again.
 

It does not have to be this hard.

 

You can leave this suffering behind and learn to surf the smaller, inevitable ups and downs of achievement like a badass.

 

I want you to work with me because I know how to get people there. But, most importantly, I just want you to get there, one way or another. If I'm not the person who can help you, I believe you can find someone or something else that can.

 

Remember: every one of us who has made it to the other side was once where you are now.

We're waiting for you. Don't give up. 

Feel better. Focus more. Do big things.